wife swap post new moon
by govolturialecbella
Summary: My version of the Cullens go on wife swap post new moon ignoring the rest of the saga and PLEASE READ SORRY ABOUT THE BAD SUMMARY.T because it involves Emmett.
1. Chapter 1

**Wife swap post new moon**

Summary: After Bella, Edward and Alice get back from Italy Emmett decides that the family need a bit of excitement to bring everyone closer so he enrols Esme into wife swap and they get accepted.

EMPOV

Ok so all I need to do is print out this form fill it in, make a video then send it off... simple. So print... wait... wait... wait... finally ok let's see.

Wife Swap application form

Husband's name: Carlisle Cullen

Age: 26

Job: Doctor

Wife's name: Esme Cullen

Age: 25

Job: Housewife

Children's name/names and ages:

Emmett McCarthy Cullen, 18

Alice Brandon Cullen, 17

Edward Mason Cullen, 17

Jasper Hale, 18

Rosalie Hale, 18

Any adopted Children: all of them.

Relationships:

Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale

Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale

Edward Cullen and Isabella (Bella) Swan

_Please add a video of everyone in the family or as you count as family_

_Thank you._

Ok now just to make the video...

**A/N**

**So at the moment I am trying a bunch of different ideas out so review tell me what you think and if I should continue!**


	2. finding out and charlie

**A/N I am ignoring Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because it doesn't fit with what I want to write.**

**I don't own Twilight**

CPOV

I was just getting to the driveway after work it was good to be back in Forks and having the whole family back together was good. I stopped at the end of the driveway to pick up the mail and there was more than normal I could clearly see.

There were the normal fashion magazines for Alice and Rosalie, Car magazines for Rosalie, a civil war magazine for Jasper, an interior designing magazine for my lovely wife Esme and a playboy magazine for Emmett. But then there was a letter from the school I wonder what these boys have done now and a letter from ABC wait what is this letter from ABC about... EMMETT!

I quickly get back into my car and sped down the driveway I ran into the house screamed "EMMETT GET DOWN HERE NOW."

"What Dad," he asked as he ran down the stairs before he saw the letter then started yelling at Alice saying something about she was meant to be checking when the letter was meant to arrive. Gosh what has Emmett done now I may as well just read this letter?

Dear Dr and Mrs Cullen

You have been chosen for wife swap after the video you sent in which was very strange you could say. You shall be swapping with the McDonalds a family that moved to America from Scotland back in 2000. They live in Twin Peaks, Washington you will be swapping with Mrs Katherine McDonalds on the 24th of November to the 8th of December.

Thank you and we will see you on the 23rd November to take some footage of your family.

Yours sincerely

The Wife Swap Team

"Emmett why did you sign us up for Wife Swap?" I said as calmly as I could.

"Because I thought we needed some excitement and some fun," Emmett said trying to sound sweet but failed let's just say it was a good thing Edward was at Bella's because otherwise he wouldn't have a head right now. Since we got back to Forks Edward has hardly left Bella's side so he is hardly here anymore we will just have to make Edward bring Bella over here then and that would be in two days what I only get two more days with Esme before she has to go to twin peaks for two weeks let's just say that I am glad we haven't been to Twin Peaks for a few decades. I wouldn't want anyone to recognise us and figure out our secret because then we would be in BIG trouble with the Volturi.

When Edward finds out about this he is going to want to kill Emmett as that would make him stay at home more and spend less time with Bella and none of us want a grumpy Edward mopping about the house especially since him and Bella are also engaged now.

Run Emmett, run Emmett run, run, run. I think I might be going crazy oh well Esme can help me with that for the last two days.

**Ed POV**

I was sitting on the sofa in my beautiful Fiancé's living room with her cuddling into me on my lap and her happily playing with my hair while we watched a movie yesterday we told Charlie that we were engaged and he seems to be slightly nicer to me now so that is good I shouldn't be getting kicked out at exactly the same time every night by Charlie now he says that I can even stay the night if I am good enough and I sleep on the sofa down here once a month so that will be good I can spend even more time with Bella with Charlie actually knowing I am here instead of being here in secret. When I got a text from Carlisle that read 'please bring Bella to the house tomorrow and be dressed nicely yet casually and that I have to be none depressing'.

Since when am I depressing? Ok so I was depressing when I left Bella so that she was safe but you would be to if you left the love of your life and soul mate to protect them.

Soon after we finished the movie Bella started to make their dinner while I helped her and ended up sitting and watching her instead as I got in her way to much so she made me sit at the table while she finished making spaghetti bolognaise and I had to leave soon as I wasn't going to eat human food I always had the same excuse that Esme likes us all to have dinner together at least five times a week as I like to take Bella with me sometimes and Esme makes her some food. As none of us can eat she likes to make things for Bella it makes her happy.

The only thing I can only assume is I will want to kill Emmett when I found out what he has done. And yet again I can only guess it is Emmett that did something and not Alice they are the only two that would do something that would make me be at home and bring Bella with me I do take Bella to mine to see my family and stuff but I do like spending time with her on our own it's just nice and peaceful.

Oh well it will be good to have Bella's at ours she can catch up with Alice and the rest of them. I stay with Bella till Charlie gets home then I go and have 'dinner' with my family as I don't want Bella to be left alone not with that stupid mutt around. Bella started to get worried when it got to 8 o'clock and Charlie still wasn't home so I called him on his mobile as I don't know if Bella would be able to listen if someone else picked up the phone and it was bad news.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Then the phone stopped ringing but no one picked up. I was about to tell Bella when the door bell rang and I went to open it and there stood a police man who was looking very sad and I immediately thought the worst for Bella.

"May I come in?" the guy asked.

"Sure," I answered and let him in and walked back to the kitchen where Bella was he sat down across from us and I sat Bella on my lap so I could hug her and let her cry into my shoulder. I quickly read the guys mind and just as I thought Charlie was dead.

As the person was telling Bella I soothed her and rubbed her back and let her cry into my shoulder like the good fiancée I was. Once the man left I packed some clothes and toiletries for Bella and took her to mine she probably needed someone bright and happy or very motherly at the moment and the only people I could think of that where like that where Alice and Esme. Alice for the happiness and Esme for the motherliness.

Poor Bella though she just lost her father now I won't be the depressed one in the house that will be Bella we just need to keep her busy and to keep her mind off of Charlie. She fell asleep on the car journey there and I didn't wake her when we got to the house I just picked her up and carried her upstairs to our room. It isn't just my room anymore it's our room since Bella and I got engaged it has been our room instead of my room.

Once I had laid her on the bed I went downstairs to talk to my family they all were looking at me and yelling at me in their thoughts to tell them what was wrong so I did just that and I told them that Charlie had died and Bella's staying here no matter what. Then Emmett owned up to what would have made me bring Bella here tomorrow apparently I was right and I do want to rip his head off.

I HATE EMMETT!

_**A/N**_

**I am sorry I killed Charlie but he didn't fit in with my story and that means he has to either die or disappear for a few weeks but I decided it was best if he died.**

**Sorry.**


	3. Goodbye Esme

_Last time: Then Emmett owned up to what would have made me bring Bella here tomorrow apparently I was right and I do want to rip his head off. _

_I HATE EMMETT!_

**Day 1**

Now: BPOV

All I could think about is my dad Charlie I just can't believe he's dead the last thing I can remember from last night was Edward rushing up to my room coming back downstairs with a bag in his hand and he led me to his car before I fell asleep.

Now it is morning and I am moping about in bed waiting for Edward to bring me breakfast like he said he was when I woke up a few minutes ago Edward said that I had to get up soon some people are supposed to be here soon and I am not allowed to stay and mope in bed all day but I am allowed to mope just not in bed.

Just as I finished thinking about my mindless thoughts Edward walked into our room with a tray of food for me. I was really sad at the moment and Edward was being really good and kind to me and I don't think I am a very good person to be around at the moment I would think I am very depressing at the moment.

"Come on love eat something then you need to get dressed and then some cameramen should be here soon because Emmett thought it would be fun to sign us up for wife swap so at any time that you want to be alone just tell me and I can take you to our meadow and you can be alone. OK," he said to me.

"That's ok I need to keep busy to keep my mind of off things at the moment this should be a good thing lots to keep me busy and lots to think about other than ... Charlie," I replied sighing at the end then I started to tuck into a piece of toast while getting out of bed and looking for something to wear from the bag Edward brought with us last night.

I picked out a pair of black skinny jeans, a black tank top thing, a pair of black chuck converse's and a dark grey/ black scarf. Then I slowly and glumly walked downstairs to the living room where everyone else was. It was sad that they had to be around me at the moment. As soon as I walked into the living room Edward had me on his lap and cuddling me to him on the sofa just when I was about to give into the tears, the doorbell rang and Emmett went to go get it after screaming like a girl which I think broke my eardrum.

He came back with a camera man a lady holding what I assumed was a makeup bag and a sound man. I think they could tell that I was depressed as they seemed to lose the smiles on their faces when they walked into the living room.

"Hi we are the crew from wife swap I am George," the camera man said and then pointed to the sound guy and said "and this is Mitch we will be following Esme Cullen which one of you is that." Esme then put her hand up.

"Okay, now who are the rest of you," he said motioning to the rest of us.

"I am Edward and this is my wonderful Fiancée Bella Swan she's staying with us for a while," Edward said. Yes I don't have to talk now.

"Can I just ask why you are staying here for a bit," George asked.

"Cause her dad was killed last night," Edward replied for me and I could already feel the tears threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry about your father."

"That's ok," I replied quietly.

There was a few seconds of awkwardness before Alice broke it "Hi I am Alice and this is Jasper, and those two over there are Rosalie and Emmett so you can easily guess by now that the guy standing by Esme is Carlisle," in a slightly less chirpy voice than before. "Okay, now who are the rest of you," he said motioning to the rest of us.

"Ok, simple I need to put some make up on you all so get in a line," said the lady with the makeup bag who had a very nasally voice.

"I am terribly sorry but we are not having any make up done," Esme answered the lady as softly as possible.

"Oh, that's fine I guess I am not needed so I may as well leave, Bye," She said while walking out of the house.

"Ok so let's get some shots of you outside the house and then doing everyday stuff like what do you do in the day," George asked.

So the Cullen's all walked outside and Edward tried to persuade me to go outside with them but I didn't want to so Edward didn't go outside either because he didn't want to leave me alone and let me be more depressed than I would be with him by my side.

It was Saturday today so I got tomorrow and then I might go to school on Monday depending on how I am feeling. I probably will go though to keep my mind off of things but I might leave at lunch to go back to the Cullen's to be alone for a bit and just be sad I guess and Edward would demand to come with me to keep an eye on me. I was then broken out of my thoughts by the rest of the Cullen's coming back inside and this George guy telling us it is time for Esme to go.

We all went outside to say goodbye to Esme even me because I knew Edward would want to wave Esme off and he wasn't going to leave me inside while he goes outside so I just went along with it and stood next to Esme while she hugged us and told us she'd miss us before she got into the limo to take her to Twin Peaks.

We all just stood there waving before we all piled into two cars so when the new mum got here she could look around without us in the way.

**A/N**

**Hi so please review and thanks to all of those who have reviewed.**

**10 reviews before the next chapter.**

**REVEIW!**

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	4. Chapter 4

_Last time:_ _We all just stood there waving before we all piled into two cars so when the new mum got here she could look around without us in the way._

Now:

ElainePOV

I am Elaine Kingsford and my family and I are taking part in wife swap I left this morning after having a few pictures taken with my family and yelling at the makeup lady that my family would not be wearing makeup. I got on a plane and then I was in a limo for a while until we turned up a long winding road, once we finally stopped I stepped out to see a large Victorian style house, well it was more of a mansion than a house. They must be in serious debt to afford this.

I went up the stairs and into the first bedroom I came to. In the room there was a double bed with a door on the right and then another door and the left. There was a vanity with a LOT of makeup and hair products on it. There were some books which looked rather old and some looked newer but they all were about the same thing, the civil war. I went into the door on the right and it was a MASSIVE walk in closet filled with girls and boys clothes. I am disgusted that parents would let a boy and a girl sleep in the same room let alone the same bed. I went into the next room half looked like a tornado went through it and the other half was filled with girly things, there was yet again a double bed and like the other room a door on each side which I am sure is the same as the other room.

There weren't any other rooms on this floor so I went up the stairs to find another two rooms one was the master suite and the other was the guest room and there was also a study on this floor so I am sure that is used by the dad. I went up another flight of stairs to find another two doors I went into one but all that was in there was a piano which I doubt any of them use, I then went through the other door and came into yet another bedroom like the last ones only this one was different one of the walls wasn't a wall at all it was a large glass window and there was a sofa and loads of other random things like the walls where covered in book shelves filled with CD's again there was a large walk in closet only this time there was only male clothes in it. Finally someone in this family that isn't sleeping with their brother or sister, I then went back downstairs into the kitchen to read the manual left by their mum.

Dear New Mum,

Welcome to my family I will start off with the children, we adopted them all as unfortunately I can't have children of my own. There is our oldest Jasper and Rosalie who are actual biological twins and Emmett, we adopted Jasper and Rosalie after their parents died in a car crash and we adopted Emmett after he was the lone survivor of a bear attack where his parents and older brother all died. Next we have Edward and Alice, Edward came to us after his parents died of an unknown disease and Alice came to us after her parents abandoned her when she was ten. Also at the moment we have Edward's girlfriend Bella staying with us as her dad who she was staying with here, died last night. Rosalie and Emmett are dating as are Alice and Jasper and if you want peace and quiet I wouldn't let Alice take Bella shopping. There are no chores for the children in our household Carlisle (my husband) is a doctor so he isn't around much during the day or in the evenings. We never eat together as we are always on the go. Every day I clean the house from top to bottom everyday and I also do the grocery shopping I do not work as cleaning takes up the majority of my day.

From,

Esme

Just then I heard a car park and went to meet the family I would be staying with for the next two weeks.

BPOV

We had to go out for an hour or two while the 'new mum' arrived, had a look around and read the manual Esme had written before she had left. Edward had taken me to our meadow so we could just sit around, talk and hold each other. As I sat there in Edwards's arms I fell asleep shortly after we got there, next thing I knew I was being woken up by Edward as we sat in the back of a car with Carlisle, Rose, Emmett, Jasper with Alice on his lap and of course there was Edward who had me on his lap he was also trying to wake me up at the same time. We had to go back in the car as otherwise we would have been asked why we came out of the forest instead of the car.

We pulled up at the house again a few moments later as we stepped out of the car a kind of short, blonde/gray haired woman stepped out of the house and she did not look happy. Emmett of course went straight up to her and gave her a massive hug while shouting

"Hi I'm Emmett welcome new mommy."

Next was Alice dancing her way up the steps with Jasper in tow "Hi I am Alice and this is Jasper,"

Then Rosalie "Hello I am Rosalie but do not call me Rose."

Carlisle then went up "Hello sorry about them and ignore Rosalie and you should live."

And then finally Edward and I "Hi I am Edward and this is Bella," Edward introduced us as he knew how sad I was at the moment. We went into the house with the new 'mum' close behind us and went straight upstairs before she could start to speak.

_**A/N**_

**Hello sorry I have not updated in ages but I had writers block and I have also been swamped with revision, school work and music practice that I haven't even had the time to sit down and write so this is probably quite short but it is better than nothing and at the moment I am on half term holiday so I might be able to update again before next week.**

**Reviews make me happy and PLEASE GIVE ME SOME IDEAS.**


	5. AN

**A/N**

**I am SO sorry about this but I don't have the time to write anymore, so I am putting BOTH of my stories up for adoption. If you want either or both of my stories PM me.**

**govolturialecbella**


	6. adopted

This story is now being written by SMW and here is a link just takes out the spaces

http :/ fanfiction. net /s/7951755/1/ Wife_ Swap_ Post_New_Moon


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